who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
