wrigley field is MILF paradise
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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