U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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