My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
