yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
