Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Someone signed my nipple.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
