two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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