Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
