also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
