I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
