Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
