It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
