At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm passing your future prison.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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