I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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