how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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