Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
