"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
