I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize