Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
