I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize