I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
