i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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