That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize