i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
