morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
