so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
