I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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