we have pet lesbian snakes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
