3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
3pm strippers are depressing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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