Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
