I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize