If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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