Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
