I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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