he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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