And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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