Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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