Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
