He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
