the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
