if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize