And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize