I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
