just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
