Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
