he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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