she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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