Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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