Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
