shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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