12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
