come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
