sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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