I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
