Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
