You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
