First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
