The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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