somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
