With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
this hospital has no fireball
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
