Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hippo gnu deer
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
