butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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