She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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