i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
